so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How many fucks given?
0.12846
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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