I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
