ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
