5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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