oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
