Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
