Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
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ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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