Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
