life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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