Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
