So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
