I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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