Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize