I'm going to rape someone's good day.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
