too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
