Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
