Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize