you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
