did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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