So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
