Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
