Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Buhtt sex?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
