my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
