You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
