Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
