pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
