1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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