Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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