You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
