dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My ass is underappreciated
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
