Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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