I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
