So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
