Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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