My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
