Do vagina's smell?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
time to smoke my breakfast
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize