just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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