"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize