3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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