that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
