You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
