just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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