the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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