tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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