I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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