she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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