My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
why is half of my head shaved?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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