You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
