I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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