so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
