I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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