Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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