found the other keg... it's in the tree
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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