mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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