her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
