haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
