Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina