i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
