I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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