we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
