lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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