ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
