Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
